You are Everything to Me
by Deer
Summary: Dee's staying at Ryou's for the night, and Ryou's afraid he's up to something. But Dee notices his partner's fear and they have a serious discussion - in the bed. And Ryou's so relieved he even tells about his feelings... This is a cuddle-cuddle fic. Tota


I wrote this fic after reading "Moonlight Trauma" by Sarfox the Tod. This turned out better and longer than I thought... But the caharacters are soooo OOC, it makes me crazy. Why am I always making Ryou a little cry-baby and Dee a nice uncle? Damn it.  
  
You are Everything to Me  
  
It's evening. Dee and Ryou are driving home from work. Or actually, Dee's driving and Ryou's sitting next to him. They're silent, but they both are thinking hard.  
  
*  
  
This feeling... what's causing it...? Is it Dee? No, it can't be. He has never caused me any kind of nervousness. But... Could it really be Dee? Why am I shaking... I... I feel like I'm going to get math exam returned. No, this is even worse. I don't know what it is... it's... scary...  
  
*  
  
What's wrong with him? It looks like he's shaking. And he's pale too. Is he cold? No, it can't be. He's wearing a thick coat. Then what it is? Is he... scared? But sacred of what? Me...? Why should he be scared of me? Does he think I'm going to do something, 'cause it's weekend? And 'cause he invited me for the night? Poor Ryou... he must be terrified...  
  
*  
  
Dee stopped the car and opened his door. He got out and clinged Ryou's hand. When he did, he could clearly feel how the other man quivered. They went inside and took off their coats. Bikky was on a class trip, so Dee and Ryou were all alone. They had some coffee and watched TV. But there was no good programmes so Dee switched it off. Two men were sitting on the coach. They were silent all the time, still thinking. When the clock said ten, Ryou said quietly:  
  
"Umm, Dee... it's getting late, maybe we should... go to bed..."  
  
Dee glanced at him and nodded. They stood up and went to the bedroom. When wearing their pyjamas' (Ryou had a real pyjamas, Dee only wore a tee- shirt), they settled themselves under the blanket.  
  
"G-good night, Dee", Ryou said with his voice shaking.  
  
"Good night, Ryou", Dee answered. Ryou switched off the light and for a while it was completely silent. The moonlight came through the window and Dee saw Ryou was sweating.  
  
Suddenly, Ryou felt how something was pushed against his back. He shivered and breathed as silent as he could. Then he saw Dee's arm in front of his face, and felt the other one hugging him. He was so nervous he didn't know what to think.  
  
"Relax."  
  
Ryou cringed. That word was said gently and peacefully, but still it made him fear. Then, Dee let go from him and rose. He was on his knees above Ryou, who was too scared to look. But then Dee grabbed his chin softly and turned his head to look at him.  
  
Ryou was scared to death. Dee stared at him staidly. The brown-haired man breathed heavily and didn't even try to hide it. Then, slowly, Dee bent his head close to Ryou. His face was only few centimetres from Ryou's.  
  
"Are you scared?" he asked. Ryou swallowed and didn't answer.  
  
"Are you afraid of me? Do you think I'm going to do something?"  
  
Ryou flinched. It was like Dee was reading his mind. That was excactly what he had been thinking. Dee's face was calm and a little sorry.  
  
"Ryou, if you don't want me to do anything, I won't. I will not force you to anything. Ryou, I... I love you, Ryou. I love you", Dee said seriously.  
  
Then he gave Ryou a passionate, soft kiss. He had his eyes closed, but Ryou was too rigid to close his. When Dee rose his head from the kiss and opened his eyes, Ryou could see there was a sorry and worried expression on his face.  
  
"Ryou, I... I don't want to hurt you. Not physically, not mentally. If you don't want me, then push me away."  
  
Ryou was touched. Not scared anymore, but surprised. Tears came into his eyes and he sniveled out load and then bound his arms around Dee.  
  
"Dee..." he cried quietly. "Dee, I'm so sorry... I didn't want to insult you, I really was scared... I thought you'd do something... I'm sorry, Dee, please forgive me..."  
  
Dee sat up and hugged Ryou tightly.  
  
"It's okay, Ryou... I understand. I would feel the same if I was you", he whispered.  
  
Ryou cried on Dee's shoulder and apologized many times. They sat there hugging each other a long time, until Dee pushed Ryou back a little so he could see his face. There were tears all over Ryou's face, and he was still sobbing. Dee smiled gently and pulled him closer and submerged himself in a kiss.  
  
Ryou sobbed while kissing, but they both enjoyed. They were kissing so long, they lost their balance and fell onto the bed, Ryou beneath. They both felt that they never wanted to let go, but finally they got apart.  
  
"I'm sorry for scaring you", Dee whispered. Ryou sniveled and aswered:  
  
"It's okay, Dee... I'm sorry too... Dee..."  
  
Ryou tried to smile but he couldn't. Then he pushed his head against Dee's neck and whispered:  
  
"Dee... even if I tell you I don't... even if I do my best to not show it... even if I try not to, I still..."  
  
"You what?"  
  
"I love you, Dee... I love you... I love you more than anything, Dee... Please don't get mad, somehow I just didn't want to... to be gay... I'm sorry, Dee, for not telling you... but I love you, I love you from the bottom of my heart, and I want to be close to you, I want you to hold me and... I love you so much, Dee..."  
  
Dee stared ahead. He didn't say a word. He couldn't.  
  
"Dee..." Ryou mumbeled. "Dee, please don't be mad..."  
  
Ryou rose and kissed Dee. On the lips. The dark-haired man surprised and startled. Ryou's eyes were closed, but Dee's weren't. But after few seconds, Dee closed his eyes too. He pulled Ryou closer to him and wanted the kiss to never end.  
  
But when Dee's hand found its way under Ryou's pyjamas' coat, Ryou breathed and broke the kiss. He fell back on the pillow, and Dee pulled his hand away quickly and looked sorry.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry, Ryou. I didn't mean..."  
  
"It's okay", Ryou whispered. "I just... surprised."  
  
Ryou was smiling. Dee smiled too. Then Dee bent and kissed Ryou again. It felt so good... Dee's hand was under Ryou's pyjamas again, but this time Ryou didn't care. The most important was that he could be close to Dee.  
  
"Ryou... do you... want it?" Dee asked when they had stopped kissing.  
  
"Do you mean... it?"  
  
Dee nodded. Ryou shook. He looked down and an expression of fear appeared onto his face once again.  
  
"No. I don't want it. You said you wouldn't force me", he said. His voice was serious but scared.  
  
Dee smiled.  
  
"Okay", he said kindly. "If you don't want, then you don't have to. But... am I allowed to caress, then?"  
  
Ryou smiled and nodded. Dee went down next to Ryou and looked at his eyes. Then he ferried his hands from Ryou's loins up to his shoulders. Ryou closed his eyes and sighed sensuously. Dee pulled Ryou closer and kissed him again, fondling Ryou's warm, excited body.  
  
Ryou let Dee do what he wanted. He didn't care about anything else but him. He wanted to stay close to him. Dee was being very gently - he kept his hands above Ryou's midriff and stroke his skin very carefully. For the whole night those two lovers cuddled each other, kissing and sighing.  
  
Next morning they were very tired.  
  
"Good morning, Ryou", Dee whispered. Ryou smiled at him tiredly and answered:  
  
"Good morning to you too, Dee."  
  
"Did you notice your pyjamas' coat disappeared last night?" Dee asked.  
  
"Yeah, I guess. But who cares. As long as I can be with you, nothing else matters", Ryou said and tried to get closer to Dee. Dee enfolded the man into his arms and closed his eyes.  
  
"Me too. I don't care about anything else. You are everything to me, Ryou."  
  
"Dee..."  
  
But if Ryou wanted to say something, he never had a chance to tell what it was, 'cause Dee had already given a soft kiss on his lips. And after that, Ryou and Dee both fell asleep.  
  
-The End- 


End file.
